


The Secrets We Share

by MrEvilside



Series: Alternative Ways of Mourning [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Body Image, Fix-It of Sorts, Flirting, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), M/M, Memory Alteration, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 20:52:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14777043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrEvilside/pseuds/MrEvilside
Summary: ‘Loki.’ The Elder scolded him with that one word like one would a capricious child. ‘It’s who you are. It means everything.’ He chuckled. The sound broke the spell of solemnity his words had only just cast. ‘What can I say? I’m a little nosy! Come on now, be a dear and show me!’The third instalment in the series. Watching a projection of Loki's memories no longer satiates the Grandmaster's curiosity.





	The Secrets We Share

**Author's Note:**

> **Request from[sexydoctor6](https://sexydoctor6.tumblr.com/post/173754979900/accepting-frostmaster-requests):** Can you write a fic in which Loki shows the Grandmaster his Jotunn form and the Grandmaster falls in love with said form because blue is his favorite color?

Loki’s office had no door, so the Grandmaster stopped on the threshold and knocked on the doorframe. When Loki looked up from the paperwork scattered across his desk, En Dwi folded his hands behind his back and smiled at him. ‘May I?’ he asked.

         The god heaved a sigh and sat back against his chair. ‘Would you not if I said I was busy?’

         ‘I… probably would.’ The Elder crossed the distance between them and put his hands on the desk, ignoring the small pile of folders that fell to the floor. ‘Work, work, work,’ he complained. ‘Do you ever stop?’

         Loki stared him, opened his mouth, closed it. Tried again. ‘I’m trying to run your planet, Grandmaster,’ he objected.

         En Dwi lifted a finger, then hesitated. ‘Fair point,’ he admitted, pouting. ‘Still! We haven’t spent time together in, oh, I think it’s been a day and a half already!’

         Loki gestured towards the papers. ‘Maybe you’d like to join me to finish these faster?’ he suggested.

         ‘How about _you_ join _me_ and we do something fun?’

         The god frowned. ‘But…’

         ‘No buts! Come on, don’t be difficult.’

         The Elder made wild motions in Loki’s direction until he pushed back his chair and stood up. ‘Very well,’ he relented. ‘Then who’s going to do this?’

         ‘You can do it tomorrow,’ the Grandmaster replied without a single drop of interest, linking arms with him. ‘Come on. I have something to show you!’

         The “something” turned out to be his bedroom. Loki crossed his arms. ‘If this is another of your ploys to get me into bed…’ he began to say, but En Dwi waved his hands at him.

         ‘Calm down, tiger,’ he chuckled. ‘I, uh, I’d obviously be delighted to, as you say, get you into my bed, but this time I have something… something _else_ for you to see.’

         Only then did Loki enter, though his eyebrows were still raised.

         Strangely, the Elder took great care in making sure the door was locked. ‘Make yourself at home!’ he encouraged the god. ‘Sit on the bed. I’ll be right with you!’

         Loki complied. _Is this a new approach to executions?_ he wondered. _Or is it just the way he’s always treated his most loyal subjects before killing them? Is this what he did to Topaz?_

Yet the possibility of his impending demise seemed unlikely. Although the Grandmaster could remove him from existence with a snap of his fingers – that metaphor always reminded him of something, but it was part of his locked memories and only gave him a migraine if he dwelt on it too much – he also liked a show, and there was no melting stick in sight.

         En Dwi settled next to him, wriggling his backside like an overexcited child, and clapped twice. ‘Ah, this is going to be so much fun. I never got to share this with anybody else, you know?’ He sighed. ‘It’s, uh, not for everybody.’ He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. ‘Ok, I’ll stop talking now. Let’s just… do it.’

         He clapped a third time and all lights went off. A curtain of darkness went down to cover the window and block out the light. The empty wall before them came to life and a video started playing.

         The opening scene made Loki want to rush to his feet and scream. Instead, he dug his nails into his thighs and muttered, ‘This is…’

         ‘Your memories!’ the Grandmaster concluded for him. ‘Yes, well-spotted!’

         Loki watched through his own much younger eyes as a child Thor fell over backwards, a hand over the handle of a knife sticking out from his forearm. ‘Loki!’ the boy cried out. ‘It’s not funny!’

         His own uncontrollable, high-pitch laughter from that day filled the room.

         _Oh yes_ , Loki considered, with a tiny quirk to his lips. _The snake prank will always be a good one_.

         ‘How?’ He gave En Dwi an inquisitive glance. ‘I remember this, so you haven’t stolen the memory. How are you doing it?’

         ‘Stolen?’ The Elder’s eyes widened and he put a hand over his heart. ‘Goodness me, Loki! Why would I ever do that? Of course they’re not _stolen_! I just… well, sometimes I take a look into people’s minds. Newcomers especially. Helps me get to know them a little bit, figure out what they’d be most suited for, etcetera etcetera. I took these from you when you first arrived. Cool, huh?’

         The memory switched to a different one, a more recent, much more painful one. A Frost Giant grabbed Loki’s arm, which turned the colour of deep space.

         The god could feel the Grandmaster’s expectant gaze on him. The grip of his fingers on his legs tightened. At least his complexion was already pale and the room was dimly lit, so perhaps En Dwi wouldn’t notice. Small blessings.

         ‘Why do you want me to see this?’ Loki asked. ‘It’s not very entertaining if you’ve already lived it. Why don’t we do something better?’

         He gave the other a suggestive look, which went altogether ignored.

         ‘You never told me you weren’t Asgardian,’ the Elder pointed out.

         The god stiffened. ‘I never told you I was,’ he objected.

         ‘You spoke so much about that place, anyone would have made the connection!’ The Grandmaster pouted. ‘I would have really, really liked to know sooner. I don’t have that much time to watch the entire video of everybody’s life, so it took me a while.’

         ‘Why would you have wanted to know that?’ Loki stared into En Dwi’s eyes to have an excuse not to look at the projection. ‘It means nothing.’

         ‘Loki.’ The Elder scolded him with that one word like one would a capricious child. ‘It’s who you are. It means _everything_.’ He chuckled. The sound broke the spell of solemnity his words had only just cast. ‘What can I say? I’m a little nosy! Come on now, be a dear and show me!’

         All of a sudden, the memories disappeared and sunlight streamed into the bedroom again. Loki blinked from both the mental shock caused by the request and the physical shock caused by the unexpected change. ‘No, I… Why would I?’ he snapped.

         It occurred to him that was the first time he said no to the Grandmaster. So far he had done it in more subtle ways – never moving past the flirting stage in their relationship, finding excuses for events he didn’t want to attend, and the like – but he had never said the word before.

         En Dwi, too, took a moment to process the outright refusal, a moment after which Loki was sure he would die. ‘Because… because I’m asking you,’ the Elder finally answered.

         No matter how stubbornly he searched, Loki could not find a trace of malice in his gaze. He was staring at him like he had been denied his favourite toy, not like he intended to harm or even simply offend him.

         Loki gaped at him for a second, then realised his mouth was hanging open, so he shut it and massaged his jaw. _How… oddly disarming_ , he thought with an inward sigh.

         He closed his eyes and let the illusion drop. Asgardian skin peeled off his body and revealed the true blue shade underneath. He felt darker ridges grow on his arms, legs, torso, and face, and lifted a hand to touch his own cheek. He forgot what it was like.

         _Wrong. Monstrous. Demonic_.

         He kept his eyes closed and waited for a reaction, which was not as prompt as the Grandmaster’s usually were.

         At last, En Dwi made a single sound: ‘Oooh.’

         Loki opened his eyes.

         ‘Ooooh,’ the Elder repeated, dragging out the single vowel for a little longer.

         Despite his discomfort, the god cocked an eyebrow.

         ‘Sorry, I, uh… Your eyes.’ The Grandmaster stuttered. ‘I’ve never… not from this close… They’re not… personable individuals. Not very friendly at all! I mean, I know you know. I watched the video.’

         ‘Is this enough? I would rather change back.’ Loki asked.

         ‘Why do you hate it so much? Blue is a wonderful colour. My favourite, actually,’ En Dwi objected.

         ‘It’s not the colour, it’s…’ The god huffed. ‘If you watched the video, you should know.’

         Such careless impudence was the opposite of his strategy in his liaisons with the Elder, but he couldn’t seem to be able to stop himself. Disgust and shame were too overwhelming for him to keep in control. He needed to shift back to his Asgardian skin fast, before he got himself killed for real.

         ‘You get more feisty than normal when you’re like that! I like it!’ The Grandmaster giggled. ‘Are you so touchy because of the monster thing? Pffft. Those Ass-gardians know nothing. They travel to nine worlds and think they know everything about all of them. And you, too, you gotta stop with the, the self-deprecation. It’s fascinating at first, I’ll admit, so edgy and everything, but it gets old fast.’

         Rage painted Loki’s cheeks a deeper shade of blue, making his ridges almost disappear. En Dwi’s eyes widened. ‘Do that again!’ he shouted.

         The god’s fists were shaking. ‘How dare you…?’

         ‘Oh, come on, don’t be like that!’ The Elder gave him a look, sighed, and took a deep breath, recovering a measure of seriousness. ‘All right, let me get this straight. Your dad tells you Frost Giants are horrible creatures, so you freak out when it turns out you’re one of them.’ He threw his hands in the air. ‘Really? After he lies to you for that long, you still trust his opinion? What are you, two hundred? The guy’s full of you-know-what and you, you have to grow up.’

         Loki opened his mouth to protest. Nothing came to mind.

         ‘The thing is,’ the Grandmaster went on, ‘you’re not on Asgard anymore. You’re on Sakaar, which is my planet, so you trust my opinion. And my opinion is that being blue is awesome. You’re my employee, so the boss is always right. Got it?’

         _The_ client _is always right_ , Loki thought, but refrained from voicing the correction.

         He rolled his shoulders and donned his habitual appearance again. When he looked at En Dwi again through green eyes – _not red, never red again_ – he nodded. ‘Got it.’

         With that, he took a dagger from one of his pocket dimensions, slashed a tear in the fabric of reality, and stepped out of the Grandmaster’s bedroom and into his own office. He sat behind the desk, expecting En Dwi to follow him suit.

         He didn’t.

         Loki placed his hands on the wooden surface and studied them, expecting them to be shaking.

         They weren’t.

**Author's Note:**

> • Dear sexydoctor6, I hope you enjoyed this!  
> • Healing from body image issues takes time, so the conclusion – Loki’s furious escape – was inevitable. However, his not-shaking hands are a tiny first step in the right direction.  
> • If you’d like to see more, if you enjoy my writing, or if you have anything else to say, please leave a comment. I love to chat with fellow fans of this pairing.  
> • I’m taking requests for more FrostMaster fics [here](http://mrevilside.tumblr.com/post/173599118197/accepting-frostmaster-requests). Ask away :)


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